Sailors fighting in the dance hall

There's not much of a story to tell, I just didn't pay my phone bill. That's why I'm blogging from this fine room in the basement of my student union. It smells of old-new carpet, mountain dew, and burning electronics (that last I believe to be the laser printers). This may be of no importance, as I have been known to miss a few days here and there, but I wanted to bring something very important to your attention. Pheromones.

I don't if any of you have received any spam lately about these wonderful chemicals (mostly androstenone, distilled from piss), but I'm very curious to know whether or not artificially obtained and applied pheromones actually do anything at all. Not so very curious as to pay for them, mind you, as they can be quite expensive, but if anybody else has heard about or tried them, I'd love to hear about it.

The human vomeronasal organ is poorly developed and may not truly function at all, but it is clear that our pheromones are still getting through. Women (and some unfortunate men) synch their cycles, plain girls become pretty with a couple flips of the hair (female pheremones come from the top of the head, the perfect place for men to smell them, apparently), men order their hierarchy and piss on things.

But in recent years, these powerful forces of desire have been bottled.

The Pheromone Information Library has a lot of information on its products and the kinds of chemicals used in them (androstenone, androsterone, and androstenol, mainly). Androstenone is mostly the "fuck or fight" chemical, whereas androsterone seems to smell like lifelong safety and security. One will catch 20 year olds, the other will catch 30 year olds, it seems. Androstenol seems to "dissolve personal barriers" and make the person reeking of it more approachable.

If I had my druthers, I would just bathe in this and watch the havok I wreak. Although odds are good that I already don't produce much androstenone, and thus it would either make me very sick or have no effect at all.

Women, fear not, there are a bevy of female-specific pheremones available on the website as well.