BOOK: The Code of the Woosters

Of the few people who might be reading this, most have seen Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry portray that great duo, Jeeves and Wooster. However, I doubt if any of them have read much of the man himself, PG Wodehouse. (Disclaimer: I have just begun, myself.)

I can offer a palliative:

I was standing there, hoping for the best, when my meditations were broken in upon by an odd gargling sort of noise, something like static and something like distant thunder, and to cut a long story short this proved to proceed from the larynx of the dog Bartholomew.
He was standing on the bed, stropping his front paws on the coverlet, and so easy was it to read the message in his eyes that we acted like two minds with but a single thought. At the exact moment when I soared like an eagle on to the chest of drawers, Jeeves was skimming like a swallow on to the top of the cupboard. The animal hopped from the bed and, advancing into the middle of the room, took a seat, breathing through the nose with a curious, whistling sound, and looking at us from under his eyebrows like a Scottish elder rebuking sin from the pulpit.
And there for a while the matter rested.
Jeeves was the first to break a rather strained silence.
'The book does not appear to be here, sir.'
'Eh?'
'I have searched the top of the cupboard, sir, but I have not found the book.'
It may be that my reply erred a trifle on the side of acerbity. My narrow escape from those slavering jaws had left me a bit edgy.
'Blast the book, Jeeves! What about this dog?'
'Yes, sir.'
'What do you mean - "Yes, sir"?'
'I was endeavouring to convey that I appreciate the point which you have raised, sir. The animal's unexpected appearance unquestionably presents a problem. While he continues to maintain his existing attitude, it will not be easy for us to prosecute the search for Mr Fink-Nottle's notebook. Our freedom of action will necessarily be circumscribed.'
'Then what's to be done?'
'It is difficult to say, sir.'
'You have no ideas?'
'No, sir.'