Ayatollah Assahola

Iran proposes transfer of nuclear technology to Sudan

As soon as Iran started making waves with their nuclear enrichment program, I was ready to support military intervention. Now, apparently, they intend to share the wealth with their neighbors, namely Sudan. I no longer support "military intervention," but indeed direct aerial/orbital bombardment of their entire country, as well as a buffer zone of 100 square miles around it.

Mere destruction is not enough. I would not be satisfied with salting the very earth that the Nuclear Persian Empire currently rests upon. I want a big, black, Iran-shaped outline with a question mark in the middle of it on all future maps. I want to personally spell out every word of Rushdie's Satanic Verses with the sun-bleached bones of the war-mongering, death-dealing, nuke-having Irani Shi'a.

There. Sorry about that. You see, I get a bit carried away sometimes.

In a perfect world, I would love to see the innocent Irani's escape from their tyrannical theocracy, but it is a far from perfect world. And in an imperfect world, you are only as innocent as what you let your government get away with.

Yes, that means we Americans are, in the wise words of Mrs. Spears, not that innocent. But we do watch a lot of television. Sudan, and Darfur in general, while not enjoying the news coverage that they ought, have received a fair bit of press lately. A lot of Americans probably can't even tell the difference between the movie they just watched and the political situation there; and in grand American fashion, will start to get angry just hearing the words "Iran" and "Sudan" in the same sentence.

Frankly, it disturbs me to see these same feelings bubbling up in me. I mean, my god, that line above about the sun-bleached bones? What kind of extremist have I become? I want my world back. I don't want my children growing up and hating any country. Though nothing could make me embrace the current American leadership, I no longer find my feelings opposing their actions as much as I used to, and that scares me more than anything. It may be that our government treated "the enemy" like monsters for so long that they have become so, but I can't even bring myself to care!

The time for talk is coming to an end. Now is the time for the sword.